“The root of a tree
enables its size. So, the history of a tree starts from its root and if
mistakenly forgotten, its meaning cannot be actualized.” Ebi asserted in a
conference while contributing salient issues of the Ijaw marriage culture.
Let’s not bother to
decipher the proverbial statement, but respond to Ebiere who was eager to know
her husband’s culture in the conference. Indeed, culture is a total way of life
and there is no hidden fact as the organizers of the conference were exhibiting
their Ijaw culture uniquely.
Ijaws are one of the
tribes situated at the coastal regions majorly in Nigeria. We Ijaws are
naturally blessed to succour neighbouring tribes whenever the need arises.
Marriage cultures among the Ijaws are multifaceted in view but similar
processes.
As an African tribe,
Ijaws majorly engage in polygamous marriage system which is mainly for communal
development in the society by teaching the wives how to relate well with other
people. Marrying plenty of wives is a practice inculcating by most Ijaws which
has greatly helped in the aspect of the division of labour in order to gain
easy access to wealth. However, few of the Ijaws especially in this modern era
prefer monogamous home.
When a man wants to
marry, it is his responsibility to seek hand in marriage from a girl of his
choice. When such is done, three of the groom’s family is entitled to inform
the bride’s family early to mitigate the level of fear on the parent with a
bottle of wine that their daughter is with them.
Thereafter, the head of
the family would draw the attention of the bride’s parent and break the news.
If the bride family would not concur, their spokesmen will inform the groom
spokesmen reasons and if accepted, the request would be made to pay dowry as
soon as possible.
As the custom demands,
they are entitled to pay dowry as a sign to display uniqueness and inform the
groom spokesmen that their daughter is not for sell, but to show her quality
value.
As itemized always; the
bride’s parent is entitled to a particular amount of money, a specific amount
for the youths, a gallon of local wine for the whole family, a specific amount
in form of compensation to stop business owners in the family from going to
works and other due compensation for the bride’s paternal and maternal
families.
All these processes
would be duly observed in humble approach by the three spokesmen from the
groom’s family and must mellow down thrice as a sign to beseech the bride’s
family in order to alleviate huge demands before they will pay any amount.
For the groom, it is
the responsibility of his family to welcome the new wife. The bride would be
garb always like a queen with expensive beads and must be decorated with
adorable dressers within the interval of Ayoro. The bride who is ascribed as AYORO
(new wife) among the Ijaws is celebrated and honoured like a queen and must
exhibit royal qualities throughout the era, but must always show sign of honour
to visitors by kneeling down.
Within this period, the
bride will not be allowed to perform domestic functions and must invariably
garb in Africa attires. Usually, visitors are meant to welcome the new bride
with a token of money and other special gifts. Even the groom is not allowed to
walk anyhow as he is meant to enjoy his first marriage period.
After the due process
of paying dowry, both families can fix a date to celebrate with each other.
Basically, the huge marriage celebration is marked in this process where famous
Ijaw musicians like Barrister Smooth, Pere-ama Freetown, etc display their musical
talents. Both families dine and wine with each other because of the uniqueness
of Ijaw marriage culture.
The bride and groom
parents are entitled to attire majestically to show their sincere joy. Parents
are to bless the marriage of their daughter with her husband traditionally by
giving them wine. This is regarded as the final stage because the traditional
rites are fulfilled which grant the permission to live freely as a recognized
spouse in Ijaw land.