CAMPUS WAHALA
Episode 1: ADMISSION LIST DONE COME OUT
Joseph Dogood had been informed that the admission list was
out. He was anxious, not knowing what the outcome would be. Dogood had sat for
the Jamb examination amidst the work stress despite the financial challenges
his family was faced with. He managed to do some oguaja job and with it raised the money to buy the Jamb form. He
had to – that is what youngsters face when their parents are not forthcoming.
Dogood had managed to even get qualified to write the POST
UME examination. Yes na! If not for the bullets dem wey fly like like witch inside the exam hall, bros for no
enter the POST UME hall. That is the practice with many students who seek for
admission in a country like Dogood’s. Teachers are hardly sent to schools to
teach, and even when they are sent, they are hardly paid by the government. Na
mouth person wan take write exam? But that was not a justification for
indulging in malpractice. Many have managed to survive the storm, and many more
shall survive it.
Dogood was a tall young man in his late twenties, but he
looked like one in his early forties. But do you blame him? Naija has a way of
changing people's look. The hot sun is natural, but the country is just full of
surprises. Even the mosquitoes are fed up of the country’s situation. Dogood
was average in height, and a bit chubby. He was a hardworking young man who
never depended on anyone. He had learnt to struggle on his own and get results
for himself. It had been that way with many in this part of the world.
Dogood, ran out of the house sweating like a Christmas goat.
The envelope he carried had depreciated so much. It was browner than the way it
was when Dogood first bought it. It may even get worse, because with Dogood,
that envelop should not be expecting a replacement anytime soon. The last
envelop which lived with Dogood practically cried for help. Almost everything Dogood’s
money bought experience the same fate. Boxers wished Dogood do not visit bend-down-select;
such materials are doomed for brownness. But he was a hardworking man, that was
a fact.
With the envelope in his hand, Dogood crossed over to the
other side of the road leading to his family house – he maintained the right
lane facing the vehicles which were steadily on motion. "Commot for road
na, a keke driver shouted," as Dogood got hit by the keke. "Your
father you hear, bad Belle," Dogood rained insults on the Keke man who had
covered some miles already. That was the way with the Naija roads; they are
never wide enough even for one man. Government appointees were only good at
sucking and milking the common wealth of the nation dry. Pedestrians’ paths were like diamond.
Passersby were usually forced to manage the space okay for just a person.
Dogood, was use to it so that shouldn't be a reason to bother. He continued
with the speed he had maintained from the beginning, and in few minutes he was
already in the business centre.
“Madam, abeg come help me check something and print am,”
Dogood instructed the lady who was busy with her system playing Zuma game. Dogood
loved playing Zuma with his PC. He played it not because it was his best
though, but because that was one of the few games his dual core HP system could
handle. “Madam, you dey hear me so?” The lady didn’t say a word; it took Dogood
three times to shout before the lady realized that someone was before her.
“Oboy, na why you dey shout na? Abi you wan bring down the wall of Jericho?”
Kpompi na. Na wa to you oo,” she responded, acting like there was nothing wrong
from her end.
“Watin you say make I do,” she asked Dogood. “Abeg I wan
check whether I don get admission,” Dogood replied the lady who was busy making
noise with the gum she was chewing. She took all the details from Dogood and
logged in. Minutes after, the document started downloading. It was obvious
Dogood had been admitted into the university to study God-knows-what. He waited
as the downloading process read up to 90% -- as soon as it got to 99%, just one
percent remaining for it to be fully downloaded, NEPA TAKE LIGHT. Those who
speak polished English would say, “There was power failure”. Well that is Naija
for you.
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